Public restrooms

This kid is afraid of public restrooms. It makes life so difficult right now! Today we went to my aunt’s funeral then went shopping at Sam’s. I asked him multiple times if he needed to use the bathroom and he kept saying no. He yelled at my mom so I put him in the cart then there he goes… Decided it was okay to pee so he peed. Standing at checkout, he tells me he peed. I told him he’s lucky that he didn’t embarrass himself to the point that other people knew he had peed. In the end, my mother lectured me about how I didn’t put a diaper on him if I knew he would not use public restrooms. Great, diapering this 4 year old forever!

Swearing

Yes. I’m against it but I do it more than I’m against it. Why? Short temper and impatient at times. I try my hardest to not say it around kids though. When I hear other parents say it to their kids, which I just witnessed a black guy say it to his daughter, it does frustrate me but I can’t blame them, I have said it many times around my baby. I’m glad my baby knows it’s a bad word so he turns around and tells me, “Mommy, you said bad word.” Love my kid when he puts me in check. I’m trying my hardest though.

Growing up

Just asked Immanuel how old he was turning and he held up four fingers. Aww, I’m so gonna miss these moments with him. I asked what he wants for his birthday and he said Thomas. Can’t wait to take him to Toys R Us and have him pick out what he wants. Sadly, I’m not gonna throw a birthday party for him. Might just go eat buffet and have cake.

Vegas Vegas Vegas

I cannot wait for Vegas. Every day my mind is thinking of Vegas. Can’t wait until June. This weather is killing me. I need some sun!

"

"Only A Woman"

Only a woman can take away your cold hard chill
Break your heart and make you love her still
Leave you thirsty when you’ve had your fill

Only a woman can sit you high up on a throne
Make you feel so damn alone
Leave you begging baby come back home

And it’s only till she’s gone
Could you see that you were wrong

Cause the seasons change and people come and go
But when love is fate best hold that woman close
Take the hard road back and fall down at her door
Cause that’s your woman
That’s all I know

Only a woman can make you fly so high you wanna touch the sun
When your wings melt and you come undone
Catches you when you fall, she’s the only one

That steals your heart just like a thief
Makes you lay roses at your feet
But you know to kiss the rose, the thorns will make you bleed

And it’s only till she’s gone
Could you see that you were wrong

Cause the seasons change and people come and go
But when love is fate best hold that woman close
Take the hard road back and fall down at her door
Cause that’s your woman
That’s all I know

You thank God you found her
Ya can’t live your life without her
And every little thing about her is all you need
All you need

Cause the seasons change and people come and go
But when love is fate best hold that woman close
Take the hard road back and fall down at her door
Cause that’s your woman
That’s all I know

"

— Only Woman by Enrique Igesias

Turning 4 soon

Just glanced at the calendar and my baby is turning 4 next weekend. Time is flying by too quick. I wish he was still my little 5 pound baby.

It feels like it’s been a long day for me

This asthma needs to go away. Because of it, the boyfriend cut me off from smoking. It’s about time I quit anyways. Been smoking for the last twelve years of my life minus the nine months of pregnancy. I got to sleep today but I’m already feeling super tired again just because I made a trip to the store. Life feels like it’s dragging me down. Tests all looked good when I went to the doctor today but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

His daily menu

Asked Immanuel what he would like to eat and he said chicken, fries and some water. Silly kid. He never wants to eat anything but that plus pizza and every once in awhile, pho. Becoming a picky eater at such a young age.

Wish it wasn’t like this

I can complain so much about everything. Right now I only hope to get better and not worse.

We walked into the aisle and he named all the trains but when I turned on the video camera, kid became shy and wouldn’t name them. It’s amazing how he knows all the trains.

I want sleep!

One last weekend of another funeral to attend then I am done. I’m sleep deprived. Stressed to the max. Trying to scramble and get things done. I’m gonna fail my classes this semester! I’m finding myself more tired than ever. I wish it was easier. Going thru a lot of changes this year. I’m just glad to have my baby and my boyfriend by my side. I can’t imagine life going forward without them two. Heading towards a brighter future with them two. A couple more weeks then my baby is turning four. I can’t believe he is growing up so fast. He’s finally potty trained and only wears a diaper at night. Then two more months and I get to enjoy a nice vacation with my boyfriend out of state. My heart is happy but I’m stressed about everything else going on.

3.25.14
After weeks of stress, watching him lose his dad and barely having time to ourselves, he took me out to dinner and a movie. He said it was his way of thanking me for being there for him but I’m more thankful that I have him. After surpassing this obstacle, it made me realize how much he cares and loves me even when I doubt him without him knowing. Honestly I thought history would repeat itself but instead it opened my eyes to a love that I never thought I could ever feel again. I look forward to many more years with this guy.

3.25.14
After weeks of stress, watching him lose his dad and barely having time to ourselves, he took me out to dinner and a movie. He said it was his way of thanking me for being there for him but I’m more thankful that I have him. After surpassing this obstacle, it made me realize how much he cares and loves me even when I doubt him without him knowing. Honestly I thought history would repeat itself but instead it opened my eyes to a love that I never thought I could ever feel again. I look forward to many more years with this guy.

My little fatty! Such a good boy. Hardly ever cries.

My little fatty! Such a good boy. Hardly ever cries.

The joy of hearing this kid tell me every day he wants to go home just to play game.

The joy of hearing this kid tell me every day he wants to go home just to play game.

Can’t really tell but he enjoys having his hair spiked. I have to blow dry his hair in order to get it to stand up like this.

Can’t really tell but he enjoys having his hair spiked. I have to blow dry his hair in order to get it to stand up like this.